They are deaf…not stupid

Earlier this evening I was on the treadmill doing my speed walking thing and watching Cash Cab while listening to my iPod. Yes I am a multitasker, but that’s another story.  So Cash Cab is on with closed captioning and Ben Bailey is being his wise ass self in the outro.  (The situation will take a little bit to set up so bear with me)

In case you don’t know about Cash Cab, it’s basically Jeopardy! in a taxi with the last question being a video bonus.  You can double your money if you win or leave with nothing if you’re wrong.  It was about a monkey that his long arms and legs that it almost never needs to touch the ground (as you can tell, I wasn’t paying complete attention.).  Two Jerry Garcia wannabes outfitted in stoner gear guessed Gibbon. WRONG meaning no cash for you!  The answer was spider monkey. OK now to the point of this post.

So Ben is making his wise ass outro by saying: “Sometimes it is gibbon, and sometimes it is taken away.” What a clever twist of words, right.  If I’m a deaf person, I’m guessing I would get the joke since no other part of the captions contained horrendous mistakes.  But no, the closed captioning people don’t give the deaf much credit.  They caption it as: “Sometimes it is gibbon [given], and sometimes it is taken away.” Way to take ALL the fun out of wordplay…geniuses.  Was it really necessary to spell out the joke, literally? The only reason I can think to justify it is that the captioners didn’t get the joke, were extremely confused and thought that everyone else would be as well.  WRONG AGAIN!

I swear, if I needed to write out all the meanings of my sarcastic comments, the [ ] buttons would be the most used on my keyboard!  I don’t….do I?

Attention Twitterholics!

Please explain to me the fascination/obsession with Twitter!  I just don’t understand.  It’s like facebook status to the nth degree.  Now instead of “I’m at the mall” ala facebook you are “In Marshalls” “trying on clothes in the third stall” “checking my teeth in the mirror for green stuff.”  Are we familiar with the concept of TMI (parents, that means Too Much Information…the Talk to the Hand of the early 2000s)? 

Let’s face it we are making the job of being a stalker wayyyyy too easy.  Think about, in the good ole’ days, your stalker used to have to WORK to follow you around: pick your trash, watch your house, follow you to the gym. Now though, he/she can sit in their Barka lounger at home watching HGTV and decide if and when they feel like being your shadow.  Talk about taking the fun out of it! 

Same goes for burglars.  No more “casing the joint” or doing surveillance.  All they have to do is google for your facebook/blog page and poof, they know where you are and when you will be back.  At least when they were just basing your home’s availability on your facebook status there was a risk involved, now it’s just too easy. 

If the stalkers and robber have it too easy…well then, what’s next?  Sliced bread and individually wrapped cheese slices?  STOP THE MADNESS!